A Joy-Filled Reunion

On June 27^th, we got to experience what we’ve imagined for the past 11 years: reuniting with Bereket and Godebo’s birth family. Here are the kids’ reflections on that experience.

Reflections from Bereket:

Mixed Emotions

“How do you feel about meeting your family?”

Over the last few months, I’ve received so many questions about how I feel about meeting my family. And I don’t resent the questions because I know they were asked out of love for me and genuine curiosity. But I’m not going to lie and say that I enjoyed being asked about this topic, because I truly had no idea how to put into words the emotions I was feeling. I knew this experience was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and I was grateful for it, but there was also a part of me that really didn’t want to go through with the meeting. I didn’t know why that was…and I still don’t know why I felt that way and to be honest I was a little ashamed for feeling that way. But my guess is that I was afraid of the fact that I had no idea how meeting my family was going to leave me feeling emotionally or how my own birth family was going to feel about me. So half of my heart was excited and curious to the idea of meeting my family while the other was fearful and dreading that same idea.

The Meeting

The day of the meeting I was filled with nervous jitters, dread, and excitement. I wore a traditional Ethiopian dress and some jewelry but kept my face completely bare because I wanted my family to see the face I was born with (nothing added or changed). We traveled by car on some bumpy roads to a school house where the meeting was to take place. Beforehand we bought some gifts for the family including a necklace for my mom and some cooking items that Tamiru, our World Vision guide and friend, said might be useful for them. We were accompanied by two translators, one who translated from English to Amharic (the main language) and the other who translated from Amharic to Hadiya (my family’s village language), and vise versa.

We had gotten the times mixed up so we were pretty late when we walked in (oops!), but that didn’t change the fact that when we entered the room everyone stood up and started embracing one another. There were plenty of tears, long hugs, and loving words whispered that I couldn’t understand. Later, we sat down on some long benches and talked for a few hours. The night before, Godebo and I had made a list of questions we wanted to ask and to my delight the conversation flowed seamlessly. I found out that I’m an aunt to four kids that my oldest brother has and that when I was little I liked to play with mud. Throughout the discussions we learned small but meaningful details as well as some much-needed answers like the fact that my family members are also believers in Christ. We learned that they are all doing well and pray for us often. My brother Daniel (after whom I was given my middle name, Danielle) was able to finish school, go to college, and get a job as the human resources manager at a nearby high school.  Two of my other brothers as well as my sister weren’t able to come because they were out of the country for work purposes, which made me very sad. After discussing and catching up on life from the past 11 years we presented our gifts, took lots of pictures, exchanged some contact information, and prayed together.

The Departure

We were walking out hand in hand when all of a sudden a group of people came toward us, arms wide open and tears in their eyes. I later found out that these were members of my extended family. Aunts, uncles, cousins -- even my sister-in-law. We left shortly after embracing them. This was definitely the hardest part, with many tears and much heartache. The reality is that we may never see them again and my birth family may not be able to experience life with me, and that breaks my heart. Over these last few days, I've been thinking a lot about them and the future. I hope that one day,  Godebo and I with our own families will be able to go back to our village and reunite with them. If that isn't God's will, I'll have to be satisfied with occasional emails and the knowledge that we will be reunited in heaven when there will be no need of a translator.

Thoughts

Even though before I was very anxious about meeting my family, I’m so relieved and happy that I did it. I know that deep down I needed to know they are doing well and that they still wonder about me like I wonder about them. I think it was also important for me to learn about where I came from. Where I got my sassy personality and what I was like when I was little. I needed to hug the person who gave birth to me and know that she loves me more then I can imagine. It was also such a joy to find out that they are believers just like us, because now I know that no matter how far away I am from them we are united through Christ. I’m so glad that I had Godebo there the whole time during this journey because I honestly don’t know if I could’ve done it without him. I’m also eternally grateful for the Chapman family that is present in my life today. Their support and love helped everything to go smoothly. My wonderful family is a stronghold in my life and the Lord really blessed me with them. I am also filled with gratitude for my amazing church community that show me Christ’s love constantly, and for my caring friends who will listen to anything I have to say whether it be something big or small. This Tuesday I am so content and filled with gratitude for the Lord. THANK YOU GOD!

Reflections from Godebo

Three hours of joy, tears, and laughter

The idea of reuniting with my family members had been in my mind long before this trip, but when I found out that I had the chance to do it this summer I was shocked. I was both thrilled and a little bit nervous as well. Since I hadn’t been in contact with them for 11 years, I had no clue if all of them were in good health, were together, or if all of them were even alive! However, God was gracious to us when we received an email saying that all of my family members wanted to see me and Bereket.  That day I read the email over and over again not able to believe that I would see all my siblings and my mother, whom we thought was completely gone from the family. I could hardly sleep that night as I tried to picture what all of them looked like after 11 years.

The day of our visit, Bereket and I were filled with mixed emotions. We were anxious to meet our family but also unsure of what to expect.  I tried to comfort Bereket as it was very tough for both of us. When we entered the room, however, all those emotions were lifted away. It seemed as though my mind was erased and all I could focus on was the people in front of my face. I remember just going right into the arms of my mother without any hesitation and without any words. I am not an emotional person and I have never cried tears of joy but that day I did.

After we embraced, I got a chance to communicate with them. I wish I could have spoken to them in Hadiya (the language I grew up speaking), but I had forgotten how to speak it. But we had great translators who tremendously helped us communicate with each other. We went through our lives and theirs and had many laughs and applauds. My favorite part was listening to their memories of us and sharing my memories of my childhood. I had a few memories of my home that I always told my family and finally I got the chance to confirm that they were correct!

As we were getting ready to leave, I thanked God for the safety of our family and this chance we had to meet them. Leaving them was as emotional as greeting them, but this time I had reassurance and so much more joy. Before we left we got a chance to see our extended family. I wish I had a chance to talk to each one of them and learn who they were but we ran out of time. Still I have to be grateful that we got to see them. 

I told my Ethiopian brother Daniel that I didn’t understand adoption when I was younger, but now I understand that it’s a beautiful thing that can change someone’s life for the better. Bereket and I have lost nothing through adoption but gained two loving families and an opportunity to succeed in life.